Rhetoric Tip #9: Are You Telling Me or Asking Me?
How to Eliminate Uptalk and Speak with Certainty
Growing up in New York City, I had teachers who didn’t let anything slide. Although I was never more than above average as a student, I loved history. One day in second grade the teacher asked the class, “Who was the first president of the USA?” My hand shot up and he motioned for me to speak. I ventured, “George Washington?” He leaned toward me and in blunt Bronx-speak said: “Are you telling me or asking me?” I straightened up and said, “George Washington!”
From then on, when I knew an answer, you heard it in my tone. In rhetoric, how you say something matters just as much as what you say.
What Is Uptalk?
Uptalk is the habit of ending a declarative sentence with an upward inflection, making it sound like a question.
Examples:
“I work in finance?”
“This solution increases efficiency?”
“Our team exceeded expectations?”
This undermines confidence. Uptalk makes it sound like you’re unsure of your own ideas, even when your content is strong.
Why Uptalk Hurts Your Ethos
Uptalk sabotages your ethos (character and credibility). You could be a seasoned expert, but if you sound unsure, your authority drops. Audiences trust speakers who sound like they trust themselves. And here’s the truth: If you don’t sound like you believe your own point, why should anyone else?
Just ask Leonard Hofstadter from the television show The Big Bang Theory. Brilliant physicist? Sure, but he speaks like he’s unsure of his lunch order. In fact, during his first encounter with Sheldon Cooper, the latter calls him out.
Case Study: Coaching Out the Question Marks
One psychology expert was brilliant in her field and wrote papers with ground-breaking insight. However, when she spoke, she sounded like she was constantly seeking approval.
When I played back her audio, she was shocked: “I didn’t realize I sounded like I was guessing!” With practice, marking downward arrows at the end of sentences, and rehearsing her key points with a firm full stop, she transformed her delivery from hesitant to commanding.
Try This: Speak to Assert, Not to Ask
1. Record Yourself
Say your point aloud. Play it back. If it ends in a question mark but it’s not a question, you’ve got uptalk.
2. Mark the Downward Tone
Draw an arrow down at the end of your sentences in your notes. This reminds you to land your ideas as a confident assertion.
3. Reinforce with Breath
Speak from your diaphragm. End sentences with a vocal drop and a moment of pause. That pause says: I mean what I just said.
Takeaway: Drop the Question Mark to Raise Your Credibility
In Rhetoric Tip #8, I mentioned the need for takeaways at the end of presentations to be a point rather than a theme, idea, or topic. Going one step further, it must be delivered with certainty, not like you’re looking around the room for a lifeline. So next time you’re tempted to say, “Leadership is important…?” Try this instead: “Leadership transforms culture. Full stop.”
And if you’re still unsure, channel your inner Bronx teacher: Are you telling me or asking me?
If you’re ready to replace hesitation with conviction and drop those accidental question marks, I invite you to schedule a complimentary 20-minute coaching call.
We’ll identify one habit to eliminate and one upgrade to amplify your authority so your next talk lands with clarity and confidence.
Uptalk drives me crazy! I noticed not only my students engaging in it during the last few years I was teaching, but also could hear it in presentations other scholars made. It may in part reflect some people's increasing epistemic uncertainty or at least their unwillingness to stand by something they say.
When I went into sales I had to learn about my uptalk the hard way. I would call clients and they would keep hanging up on me. After listening to my call recordings, I noticed that I sounded unsure—and it wasn't until I learned about uptalk that I was able to start putting downward inflections on all that I said, signaling confidence. Great post Robert!